That being said, nothing has changed me more than becoming a mom. From that first few weeks of discovering we were pregnant, it changed me. In a good way! I'm very comfortable with who I have become now. You have to learn to let things roll off your back more as a mom though. People really enjoy giving unsolicited advice to pregnant women and mothers. Pregnancy is one of those things where perfect strangers don't mind approaching you and striking up a conversation about what's going on inside your body. I usually don't mind it, sometimes you can get to know someone better because of it. Other times you can be quite entertained at the things people will tell you.
The things I've heard while pregnant have ranged from "Were you trying for a baby?" (What? Why would you ask someone this?!) to "Oh good luck, you're going to be so tired for the next ten years." (Gee, thanks). Labor and delivery is another hot topic for pregnant moms to encounter. There are many methods and schools of thought on this, so it's often interesting to hear someone's plan of attack. Everyone is different, therefore I fully believe that each mother should be the one to decide how she wants her delivery to happen. If you want to go all natural and birth at home in your living room, have at it. If you are determined to have a c-section at 39 weeks, so be it. It's your decision. However, if you ask an expecting mother what her plan is, it's a good idea to have the phrase "Awesome! That sounds great!" ready, no matter what they say. (I also recommend this response for when you ask them what they are naming their child. More on that later.) No mother wants advice on how someone else thinks they should do things unless they flat out ask for it. If they ask for advice, then, by golly, you are free to give it!
Something I was not at all prepared for was the pressure to have a girl with baby #2. Daniel and I had no preference on gender either time, so we were very happy to hear that the baby was healthy and growing right on track. It was a bonus to discover it was a boy. However, other people were apparently hoping we would have a girl for some reason. I guess it's just an American standard to have one boy and one girl. I was hoping for a baby. As long as it was a human baby that was healthy, I would be happy. Mind you, if the baby wasn't totally healthy, we would still love it no matter what because it was our baby. It was a HUGE relief to find out he was doing great so far. When we announced the gender, I was pretty shocked when people actually said "Oh well, maybe next time you will get your girl." and "You can always try again next time!" This is incredibly awful to me! It's as if I had made a recipe that didn't quite turn out like I wanted it to, so we just had to throw it out. This is my son! I already love him! I have continued to hear these statements from people, even strangers, and it really hurts. The other day at a restaurant one of the employees looked at Gunner and then said "I sure hope there's a baby girl in there! (Pointing at my belly)". At first I had no idea what to say. I finally replied with "Nope, it's another boy but we are perfectly happy with that!" Later in the day I actually got really mad about the whole thing. I just don't understand what the problem is with having more than one of the same gender. There's literally nothing we can do about it! This is what God wants for us, and if He decides to give us three more boys before we are done having kids, then obviously He's got a plan there! Maybe He wants us to have a family basketball team! I'm not upset by another boy, so I don't think anyone else should be either. Pregnant women are extremely hormonal, so it's important to be very careful with what you say to them.
The name game comes to mind as well. When you ask someone what they are naming their baby, your response should fall along the lines of "Wow! That's a great name!" Asking where they came up with the name is ok too. I've even said "Oh cool! That is a very unique name!" I'm starting to understand why people wait until their baby is born before announcing the name.
Pregnancy can often bring down barriers between people and you might discover a common ground with someone you didn't expect. This is not always a good thing. However, it's part of life, and it's helping me learn the hard way to not let the things other people say bother me. I am incredibly lucky to have a second baby on the way! I know far too many people who would give anything for the chance to have just one. If we all approached things with this thought in mind, we might not be so critical about things like gender and names.
Rejoice in The Lord always, again I will say rejoice!
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